Happily Average

(This was originally posted on my tumblr which I haven't used since, so thought I'd re-post it here.)

There’s often times I say “when I’m a parent, I will do/not do…”
This is usually based off something my parents have done or not done to me whilst growing up.
One of my big ones, involves school. Now, I am not a grade A student. Some subjects I did well in, some I was lucky to pass, some I was average.

AND THAT IS OKAY!

We can not be good at everything. It took me until uni to realise this, when I had to become happy with getting a pass (45-54%) or a credit (55-64%) on assignments- lest I go die in a hole somewhere.
But in school, especially the subjects where I was an average/poor student (ie. math, science… economics- that was just a disaster), I always felt like I had to get 100% and nothing else was acceptable.
Because if I went to my parents with a 60% science/maths exam, they’d say “you think you could do better?”
These were exams I had (most of the time) studied my butt off for, and was quite happy to get 60% (well, not HAPPY, but I was taking it. It was a pass after all).
But I felt like my parents were disappointed in me, because they believed I could get 100% and I didn’t. So, I failed there expectations and failed them.

I’ve carried this with me my whole life. The feeling that I have to reach other people’s expectations of me, because THEY believe I am capable of great things. And I hate disappointing people- because of a fear if I disappoint them, they won’t like me.

I don’t want my children (if I’m so lucky as to have them) that they can’t come home and say “Hey Mum, I passed my math/science/english/whatever test! 53%!”
As long as they’ve genuinely given it their best shot, and they’re happy with the result, I’m going to turn around and say “Good job! Well done! You can pick dessert tonight as a reward!”
If they’re not happy, I’ll say “You tried really hard and I’m proud of you. Let’s see what you had trouble with for next time. Do you want to pick dessert tonight?”
Mostly, I want to always build my child’s self-esteem. Or try.
Any other parenting lessons you’ve learnt from experience?