Textbook Romance

The other day I discovered that Zoe Foster is in my head.

Confused? Let me explain:

So, one day in 2010 I was randomly reading various people's Wikipedia page (I was at uni with internet and nothing to do- naturally I decide to browse Wikipedia).

And whilst reading the page of one Hamish Blake, it said that he had co-written a book with someone named Zoe Foster. Now, I was unaware of this, I hadn't even heard of Zoe (I was then- and still am- caught in that phase where I was too old for Girlfriend and Dolly, but there was really nothing in Cosmo or Cleo that applied to me either).

The book was a dating guide, and although I have no need for that (in my 21 years, I've been on exactly 1 date and the guy took me to see Jackass 3D for our first date. There was no second date), I decided to buy and read it anyway.

And I'm so glad I did, because I found that Zoe is an awesome and hilarious writer with great advice that if I ever develop a life and by some miracle get asked out again, I might actually use. And Hamish's comments are, as always, hilarious. Less useful than Zoe's, but funny nonetheless.

So, I bought the book, read it, and put it away. But when I moved two months ago, I've been enjoying re-reading all these books I haven't read in a while.

A few weeks ago, after a long (ok, 3 days) search, I bought, read and loved Zoe's latest novel The Younger Man (go buy it, it's awesome). And I noticed as I was reading that some of what Abby was doing (the main character guys, keep up), sounded familiar. And then it clicked- she was using lessons Zoe had put into Textbook Romance!


After my exciting discovery (and a DM from Zoe about that, which thrilled me even more), I decided to re-read Textbook Romance. And then I discovered that Zoe's lessons have apparently seeped into my subconscious (which is a good thing).

Because I'm pretty sure the only people that read this are the people who are reading my Wicked fanfics, I can say this:
Remember in Out of the Blue, when Fiyero realised he was in love with Elphaba, panicked and in an amazing form of logic, broke up with her?
To me, that seemed like something he would do. A "scandalacious" playboy prince realising he's in love for the first time and deals with that by running far, far away (and your reactions to that were kind of funny. Sorry- I have issues with laughing at people's horrified reviews when bad things happen in my stories).

So, you can imagine my shock when I was reading Textbook Romance and came to Chapter 5 "Beware the Self-Startler".
What is a Self-Startler? Well, in Zoe's words it is, "He's the guy who says the Right Things, does the Right Things, is affectionate, persistent and romantic... he bowls in at 400 km/h, only to slam the brakes equally as hard a few weeks- or sometimes even months- later... he realises, that it's actually all going a little too fast for him, and he needs some space (or a hasty departure to Rio)." (Textbook Romance, pg. 119)

Sound familiar, OotB readers? So, if I guy... I don't know... spent a month trying to gain a girl's attention, and then a week convincing her to date him, only to turn around 3 months later and break it off without any real reason? (See Out of the Blue for more details on that).

Or as Hamish described the Self-Startler; "The Self-Startler is terrified of the one thing it looks like he really wants. Like a squirrel with a cashew phobia." (You really want to buy the book now, don't you?)

  And if you're unsure about the advice, think about this: Zoe and Hamish are now engaged!

So seriously, if you're not reading Zoe's books or listening to Hamish and Andy you should be. Like, now.

You never know where you'll find something you can use in a story!